


White

by AliceJotunheim



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dark, Demonic Possession, Language, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mindfuck, fluff in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:04:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceJotunheim/pseuds/AliceJotunheim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an AU! Mental Institution Horror Story. Please, review. Don't care about rating, I just want to know what you think of it. M for planned chapters later... and the dark themes and language. Those count, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a roleplay I began, worked with a few times with different people, and hashed out mentally. But now it seems to be so much more than just a roleplay starter, so I thought I'd try and make it a fanfic. Yes, I roleplay, if you want to, message me, and we can try some of my other starters-that-might-turn-into-fanfics. This is an AU, and though its based in a mental institution, I think of it more as a horror story. And of course, a lovely little mindfuck. Think you know what's going to happen? Think you understand a little joke or reference? Let me know! I love to see if people actually understand these things...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very beginning, meeting new people and finding new allies. Welcome to White, darlings, enjoy your reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on using this space to talk about reviews and thoughts that were posted or sent to me about the work. If you don't want to see my insights on this, then just skip on ahead each chapter.

White. It was always white. He snarled as He paced in the room, walking back and forth past the white walls, ignoring the white chair and the white table, throwing another unused chair across the room before turning to face the white bed. He growled at it, feeling every damned emotion well up again. How annoying. He'd be sure to make the next doctor suffer. Reaching for the white sheets, He ripped them off the bed, shredding them easily in His grasp as He looked around. Nothing. Nothing had changed, for four days, and it was… annoying. The shredded material fluttered from his fingers to the floor as He went back to the frosted window. It allowed in light, but it was nearly impossible to see colors or shapes past its panes.

"Doctor, please! You don't understand, you cannot just go barging in there!" Laufey followed him down the hall, nervously shuffling past his slight limp and looking at the newest doctor. He couldn't help to roll his eyes. "Laufey, look. I know you said he was tormented, but I'm not going to hurt him!" "I didn't mean that, sir, I just… It's the devil today. Not Loki…"

Dr. Tony Stark turned to face him. "Laufey. There is no such thing as the devil. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for this, he's not possessed or anything!" The nurse looked at him forlornly before sighing, opening the door to the empty floor.

Loki's head snapped up, looking around as He frowned. Someone was coming, not just Laufey. There was only one reason for anyone to be on this floor, and no one ever came here. Not after he'd gotten rid of Fury. A new doctor, then. He'd learn soon. No one survived him for very long. Looking at Himself, He straightened the threadbare black pajamas on His small frame and turned back to the window. The lock turned, and His slight grin faded. Laufey was shaking…. Why was he shaking? Laufey didn't fear Him anymore. Did he fear for the new doctor?

Tony walked into the room, smiling wide. "Morning, Loki! I'm your new doctor, Doctor-" he was cut off by the young man as He turned and glared at him with reddened eyes. Loki was tall, almost as tall as Tony was, but obviously underfed, thin enough to have a gaunt face and gangly limbs. The black pajamas he was wearing were for a smaller child than he was, the sleeves and legs far too short on Him. His feet were bare, His long body shaking slightly in the chill of the room. But Loki's body stood straight and tall, free of any visible deformities.

"Doctor Anthony Stark," He supplied for the doctor, looking him over.

This new man stood strong, though he had some bulk about him, as most men with musculature did. His prim suit and white jacket were new, pressed, and cleaned. No signs of wear or tear in the usual spots. His hair was gelled into place, his face freshly shaven. First day, then. He glared up at him, noting his height. "Son of Howard Stark," He continued. "Both mother and father dead in an accident a year ago. I wonder… did you ever tell them you loved them?" he sneered at the doctor, noticing his eyes widen lightly.

"You didn't… but then again, you never did. Even after your father did what he could to make you happy, to keep you safe from the horrid world out there," He growled, advancing on him. He had him, this doctor. He read him perfectly… "Did you ever thank him for paying for your education? Such an expensive school… And now here you are, taking up a new job in a prestigious institution. Did you ask the director for it, or did he just give it to you, seeing as he was such a good friend of your father." He laughed as the doctor stepped back slightly. He had him. Now it was up to this doctor. Would he accept the abuse or run? He noticed Laufey frowning at Him, and He glared. So what if the nurse didn't like that he hadn't held back? He deserved it all!

"How… How do you know these things? I've been told you haven't seen or heard of anything outside of these rooms…" "You listen. You learn. Or I will teach you, doctor," He purred, turning back to his window.

Tony took in a deep breath. Not the first time someone knew him. He wasn't a hermit. He got around. And his parents were famous… but still. It was creepy that an insane patient knew about him. He noticed the shredded sheets on the floor and frowned. How had he been able to literally destroy sheets? The boy in front of him was thin and tall, too skinny and pale, and unable to tear the fabric. Something about this wasn't... normal. But then again, this was his first patient, and he knew it wasn't going to be textbook. So perhaps it was only because he wasn't practiced.

He turned back to him with a bored sort of look. "We should leave now, Dr. Stark." Tony's head jerked up, looking at the nurse before over at Loki again. He looked ready to pass out from hunger, to be honest. He jumped inwardly when he heard a harsh laugh. "You'd do well to listen to Laufey, doctor. He knows far more than you do…" Tony had no idea what happened, but he was pretty sure he'd lost the battle. He looked back at Laufey with wide eyes, and the nurse looked back at him, smiling weakly. Laufey led him out of the room, bowing his head slightly to the imperious patient, and locked the door tightly with a sigh. "Had enough?" "What the fuck was that? How did he know?"

Laufey turned to look him over. "It is not difficult to know things about you by the way you dress and walk, but if you are asking about his uncanny knowledge about your personal life, the devil knows all of the dark little secrets we hide. Did you really never tell your parents you loved them?" he asked sadly. Tony waved him off impatiently. "That's not the point." He stormed home later that day, confused about his newest charge.


	2. Tony Stark versus the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, just adding on and expanding the ideas of the actual story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I'm actually getting some responses for this. Now I actually feel like I should write more. Thank you for the review and the favorite, and to my newest followers, I don't know what you see in me, but thank you so much! Admittedly this is a little shorter, but there's not going to be a guarantee of long chapters. Just a long story!

Tony slept fitfully that night, thinking about the sudden and rather odd fight he'd lost. There was no way that he could have prepared for that. But what did he mean by listening and learning? Could it be that he was really the… No. That was impossible. Tony didn't believe in that. Groaning, he turned over. "He's NOT getting to me!" he shouted to the ceiling, instantly feeling ridiculous. Getting up with a groan, he went to make himself coffee. He'd have to prepare himself for today.

Loki moved to the window once again, watching the soft glow illuminate the white window, shining from the sky. A new day, then. Would this doctor return? Or would his first lesson have been enough? He looked back as Tony appeared, walking immediately to the chair and sitting in it, looking the patient over.

"So… I'd love to know how you knew so much about me. And I think I should know about the blankets, too."

Loki's head turned to look at Tony, a grin on His face. "Well, now… look who decided to grow a backbone…"

"Explain. Now, please."

"And who do you think you are to order me around?"

"I am Doctor Anthony Stark, as you correctly guessed. And I am your doctor. So why don't you let me into your little secrets?"

Loki's face grinned, his body moving to lounge in the chair across his. "Very good, doctor. But I'm afraid secrets do not remain so if they are told to anyone who asks."

Tony sighed. "Well, at least you're smart, and not simply insane."

"I AM NOT INSANE!" He roared, slamming his hands on the table as he glared at him, red eyes glittering dangerously. Tony couldn't help but jump slightly. "Right… not insane. Got it. So tell me what you are then, Loki."

He relaxed back in his chair, glaring at him. "I am not Loki," he stated simply, crossing his arms.

"Not Loki. Great. Then who are you?"

"I am nothing you've ever dealt with before…" he growled, grinning darkly as he enunciated each word clear and sharp in hushed tones. "Doctor… Anthony… Stark."  
~~~~~~~  
Tony was fucked. No matter what he'd tried, all he got that day was a bloody nose. He knew he shouldn't have pushed about his brother. He ended up alone at home that night, unable to even go out like he would have. Ignoring the calls from women and clubbing buddies, he made himself a cup of decaf coffee, sitting in his chair. He didn't even turn on the television. He didn't know what to do about the freak in the asylum.

The problem he had was that no matter what books he read, Loki's condition was cut and dry. Some childhood trauma caused a split personality syndrome. Easy to diagnose, easy to fix. But… this personality. It was so far from what Laufey said Loki was like, and so dangerous. Somehow, he was strong enough to shred sheets with his bare hands and hit Tony hard enough to bleed. The memory made him rub his face a bit. It still hurt.

The problem was that the personality wasn't complying with Tony's diagnosis. He was violent to the point of inciting anger in others, and strong enough to make even Tony jealous. Almost impossible, seeing as he was anorexic in stature and almost always having trouble breathing… And the white! What the fuck was it with the white? This little bastard refused to enjoy it, even wore ratty black pajamas, but kept calling Tony white… the best he could come up with was that it meant something. Something different. "A new language to learn," he said with a sigh. "At least they're not nonsense words," he grumbled to himself, finishing his coffee and slamming the mug in the sink, storming off to bed. Time to prepare for his newest battle.


	3. The Dangers of Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony doesn't believe in the Devil. What might convince him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentioning Natasha Romanov in this chapter, and while I absolutely love the real Natasha Romanov.... here, she's no Black Widow, just an average doctor. Don't think that means I dislike her!

It had been a week since Tony had spent time with Loki, sitting down in the room and talking with him. That week had actually been spent deep in research. And the hospital visit. That's right… Tony muttered darkly to himself as he dragged his suit on that morning. Little fucker had actually broken his arm. He still wasn't sure what had happened. He said Thor's name, and next he knew, his arm was pointing back at him. It had hurt, sure, but he was still wondering how it had happened! Loki had hardly moved! Then the incident with Dr. Romanov… Tony sighed, sitting at his table.

He wasn't sure what to think anymore. But today, he'd have to find out some more from Laufey. The man really confused him. He was scared, but only when with Tony. When he stood in the room, he was like Loki's fucking butler. He stood quietly and spoke to him with respect, calling him "sir" and all sorts of other shit that really pissed Tony off. He dug into his cereal angrily, still thinking about it.

Getting to the institution took little time, and finding Laufey was even quicker. He dragged the nurse into his office, glaring at him. "Alright, so… who the fuck is Doctor Romanov and why won't you tell me about him?" Laufey sighed, looking down. "Dr. Romanov is… was a female. One of his earlier doctors. She… well. She had just married, and she was hoping for a child… but one day she angered Loki, and… well…" he rubbed the back of his neck. Tony groaned. "He made her infertile, is that what you're telling me?" "No! No, I… I wouldn't…" he sighed. "He killed her child. The babe was born, looked at his mother, and died, horribly, I've been told. She went insane. Killed herself."

Well. That was… unexpected. Tony felt his anger drain away as he rubbed his face. "Fuck. And… were there others? I mean, there's no proof that it was Loki!" No proof maybe, but Tony was becoming more and more paranoid about… well, about this specific personality. This Loki was cruel, the definition of insane, and extremely unpredictable and violent. It stood to reason that if he had the resources, he'd try to harm a doctor he didn't like. That only made Tony more paranoid.

What he heard next, though, nearly had him running. Nearly. He wouldn't actually bow to this guy. It would hurt his pride, and his ego. And he guarded those carefully. "No, there was no proof. But with Fury, there was. He was one of Loki's first doctors. He thought he could… well, let's just say he took a different approach to things. He got angry that… that I bought Loki the black pajamas, and replaced them back to the white ones all patients wear. Then the devil came out when he… he hit Loki. No one knew about it until the next morning… when I found Fury. He was… He was mangled. The devil had killed him, and painted the walls with his blood," Laufey said quietly. "The room is still stained… it's on the other end of the hall. If you don't believe me."

Tony swallowed hard, running out of the office and down the hall, panting hard as he finally reached the room Laufey mentioned. He burst in, looking around, and felt his knees fail him as he saw the room. It had been scrubbed multiple times, but pink streaks still lined the walls. It looked like Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the Aftermath. He hit the floor, on his knees in horror. "Okay… I'm out of my element here," he finally admitted, shaking. The walls were stained with blood, marked out in horrible writing. "Learn? Learn what?" he muttered, getting up to trace the walls. Maybe this wasn't just a split personality after all… Learn… Obey? These words… they were innocent enough, but.. something about them being written in blood made him think differently. He was shaking when he finally left, making his way back to Loki's room and walking in.

"Alright… I'm stumped. I've got nothing for you. I can't help you, and you seem hell bent on hurting me." He sat down at his chair again, looking at Loki expectantly. He was somewhat wary of the wide grin that split his face as the boy sat down quietly. "What is it you want from me? You want me to be insane? To kill myself?"

"No, of course not, Dr. Stark. I want nothing from you. I simply want you to leave. And never return." He grinned wider as he realized he finally had him. This doctor would not return. At least he wasn't as stupid as the others. He didn't need to be taught a lesson.

"Then tell me this, before I quit. What are you?" Tony leaned back, ready to analyze his words once more. If he couldn't beat him, he'd outsmart him. Loki, unaware, leaned forward, still smiling. "Not all who wander are lost, and not all who are erased are white."


	4. New Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, the Devil has tired of Tony. And if he breaks his arm on a good day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got this fanfic on both FF and AO3, and I'll point out now that on AO3, Orthran said that the quote "not all who wander are lost" (Chapter 3) is from Lord of the Rings. Good point. Not what I had planned, but it was really nice to have someone point it out! To add to it, someone could see a small reference in this chapter's title, "New Arrival." If you guessed right, then you were thinking of Corpse Bride. If you were wrong, you've probably seen more movies than I have, and are still right! Also, on FF, Rozen said that the "new language to learn" (Chapter 3) would be interesting to learn. Yes, it will be, and I encourage you to consider what some of the terms Loki and Laufey use might mean.

Tony went to bed that night, but didn't sleep. Not even for a moment. He was too afraid of having nightmares about that little boy's face. It was… demonic. He believed Laufey now. It wasn't natural, what had happened to this kid. His best hope was to figure out what Loki had meant, and hopefully assuage the guy until he could figure out what had really happened to him. For now, he was kept awake by his last words. Not all who wander are lost seemed like a perversion of an old adage to him, but he'd never put much stock in them. What he was worried about was the erased part. It seemed to him that white was a synonym for being insane. So naturally he began to wonder what color he was seen as, and if different colors meant different things. But if that was true… did he really want to know what erased meant?

The next morning, he got up, sighing and taking a long hot shower. He needed it and the coffee if he was going to deal with the psychopath again. He had one patient, and he was failing. "Well, that's fucking awesome, Tony," he muttered to himself, scoffing. He even made himself a breakfast! Laughing at himself, he ate his omelet quickly and made his way out. On the way, he stopped at McDonald's, thinking of maybe trying to calm Loki down with the offer of something other than cafeteria food. He showed up, looking around for Laufey, frowning when he couldn't find him. Shrugging, he made his way back into the room, knowing his way around enough already. The problem was, when he walked into the room, Loki was nowhere to be found. Frowning, he looked around, even peeking in the bathroom before hearing a small whimper.  
~~~  
Loki had woken up that morning, dazed and afraid, and scrambled away from the window in terror. He quickly looked around the room, not seeing anyone, and fell to his hands and knees, unable to stand anymore. "Laufey?" he rasped quietly, shaking and crawling to the bed, sliding under it and starting to cry quietly. He was alone again… and there was no Laufey. He curled into himself tightly, hiding his face as much as he could, as he cried. He wasn't sure where he was, and if it was the same room he fell asleep in. "Laufey?" he whispered again, sniffing and rubbing his eyes. He thought he heard someone at the door… He jumped slightly as shiny black shoes walked in, clicking oddly on the floor. He didn't know those shoes. Panicking, he silenced himself and curled tighter against the wall, hoping he wouldn't be found. He couldn't help but whimper softly, though, as he saw black pants above the shoes. It was scary, seeing that and the white coat. He knew the white coat. The white coat meant that he was… that was the new doctor. He didn't know who it was, and that was the scariest part. What if it was a bad man?

Tony blinked, turning back towards the bed, and sat down on the ground to look under it. There was Loki… but it was so different… "Loki?" he asked quietly, and wide green eyes filled with terror, causing him to lean back further under the bed with a terrified whimper. This wasn't the Loki he'd fought with for the past two weeks…. This was a different Loki. He'd… He'd changed. Physically, his eyes were green, and he looked… smaller. Paler. Thinner. Mentally, he just… seemed terrified. Of everything. Sighing, Tony settled more on the floor, looking down at him. "Loki… it's alright…"

"W-Who are you?" he rasped, shaking more. This wasn't normal… he wasn't… He wasn't mad at him. He wasn't getting angry, or reaching for him.

Tony was getting worried now. "Who am I? You don't remember? You've known me for two weeks! I'm… I'm Dr. Stark, remember?" When he saw Loki shake his head, he sat back, shaken. He'd finally come to grips that he wasn't able to control or even understand Loki, and then this boy pulls… this. "Loki… are you alright? Why don't you come out and talk to me?"

Loki shook a bit harder, shaking his head, and looked away from him. He was safe as long as he stayed hidden…

"Loki, I promise, I won't hurt you… if that's what you're afraid of… I'm… I'm Tony. Why are you so scared?" He frowned, thinking. "Maybe… Would you be happier if I found Laufey?"

Loki looked at him immediately, nodding quietly, and held his shaking body more. It was always so cold…

Tony nodded, scrambling out of the room, looking for Laufey. He finally found him and slapped his arm. "Hey! Where the fuck have you been? He's gone crazy again, and now he's hiding under the bed!" he muttered nervously, still unsure what it meant for him. Laufey's eyes widened, and he rushed back to their floor. "It's Loki! Loki's back! And I didn't even… I'm so sorry, Loki," he mumbled, rushing into the room and dragging Loki out from under the bed. Loki let out a small whimper, but didn't fight him, clinging tightly to him. Tony made a mental note to figure out the connection between the two.

Loki saw Laufey and relaxed, reaching out for him and curling into him. He was so afraid, and cold, and it hurt again. But Laufey always made things better… He just had to stay with him. He hid his face in Laufey's chest, inhaling his cool scent. Loki didn't mean to squeak when Tony spoke, but he forgot the doctor was there.

"So… What is up with this Loki?" he asked Laufey, giving up and sitting in his chair, looking at the two on the bed. "He's the real Loki. The one you're supposed to heal." The… Tony blinked. /Real/ Loki? What was the other one? No way it could have been… of course it wasn't the devil! It was a ridiculous notion, thought Tony, conveniently forgetting the fact he'd given into the thought just the night before. So there were two Lokis… Fuck.

Loki blinked, looking up at the two of them, curious, and tugged at Laufey's shirt silently. The nurse laughed softly, nodding. "Loki, this is your new doctor. Doctor Anthony Stark. Tony. He's nice, and he wants to help you. He won't hurt you, I'm here." Loki sighed, going limp against him and nodding quietly. Laufey wouldn't let him get hurt anymore… He would keep him safe. He finally opened his eyes to look at the new doctor, who smiled at him insecurely. "Hey there, Loki. I'm Tony… even if you don't remember me, we've known each other for two weeks… How are you feeling?" Feeling? Loki didn't understand. Doctors didn't care about how he felt. Doctors wanted to hurt him and leave him alone in the white. He ended up shrugging softly, cold and now nervous. This wasn't a normal doctor.

Tony sighed, smiling softly at Loki as much as he could, and talked to him for another ten minutes, asking him all sorts of mundane questions. Finally, Loki started to respond to him, voice small and childish. Tony finally began to learn about Loki, though nothing useful. He liked colors, but didn't remember what the names were, he didn't know much of the world outside the room, forgetting even the names of animals and the difference between men and women. It made sense, to an extent. He'd been locked up since he was four years old, no one bothering to teach him, to raise him. Finally, though, he hit on something. "What do you like to do? What would you want to do?" he asked quietly, daring to sit on the bed next to them. Loki thought about it for a time as Laufey rubbed his back. "M-Make colors… show colors." Making colors… Tony had an idea for that. Suddenly contemplative, he smiled and slowly took Loki's hand, squeezing it. "I'll let Laufey take care of you now, okay? I'll go, and you won't have to be afraid of me anymore. And I'll go get you your food so Laufey won't have to fetch it."

Loki jerked his hand away nervously, looking at him with sharp, confused eyes. "Food?" "Yeah, you know what that is, don't you?" "I… yea. But.. But I'm not allowed to eat. They don't let me eat, and Laufey can't… can't always get me food."

Tony felt something crack within him. Well, fuck. He was feeling for the kid. The look in Laufey's eyes supported Loki's statement, and Tony immediately took out the squished and beaten hamburger for him. "Well, I brought this for you earlier, but I might have mushed it a bit." He felt another pang of sorrow as the small boy's eyes widened, and he watched him unwrap the food ravenously. He handed the hamburger to Laufey, who began to try and mash it up more for Loki, slowly feeding him small bits at a time. The moan that came out of Loki's mouth as he began to eat, the tears in his eyes… Tony rushed out. He couldn't bear the thought of this kid, imprisoned for thirteen years, not having had a proper meal.


	5. Coloring the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah... the feels and sadness begins. Loki has been trapped without passage of time since he was four. No one believes him. No one thinks he wasn't responsible for Thor's injuries. And no one has ever taught him how to live. What is our lovely little Tony Stark going to do about that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On FF, salenastarrz guessed that the Devil or Loki would end up throwing Tony out of the window. It's a thought! One I'm still considering.

Tony couldn't return for the rest of the day, not sure what the fuck he was feeling. This little kid… but he wasn't little. He was seventeen… or so his body claimed. He /apparently/ still had the mind of a four year old. But… that other Loki… He knew something was wrong. The next day, he packed up an entire basket of food, bringing it to Laufey's desk and plopping it down. "Alright. What the fuck is the story with Loki?" he said, resigning himself to a sob story and sitting down.

Laufey sighed, sitting back in his chair and looking at him. "When Loki was four years old, they brought him here. I didn't meet him until he was six, and when I did, it was clear to see he was being mistreated. Doctor after doctor came until he was fourteen, trying to fix him, trying to get me to believe that it was just a personality disorder. I know better, because I care about the boy. He's possessed. I don't care whether you believe me or not. The devil himself took this boy, and when his eyes shine red, the devil is here. But… the devil doesn't eat. The devil doesn't drink. And eventually they stopped feeding him."

Tony frowned, taking it all in. "Okay… so… suspension of belief here. If it /is/ the devil, why hasn't he killed him? Why won't he eat? And why would they be stupid enough to stop feeding a growing boy?"

"He'd throw the food at them, and they claimed it was a financial waste. They just didn't want to deal with him anymore. And I think the devil is here for a purpose." Laufey shrugged, returning to his story. "I tried to get him to eat, but he refuses. And when Loki returns… since he's no longer fed, they keep a tight eye on Loki and me. I think they're trying to starve him to death. Either way, I can't sneak enough food for Loki when he's here, and so he just… remains a skeleton. I don't know why he's still alive."

"Right… so they're trying to kill him, you're trying to save him, and he's a fucking kid in his mind... Right." He sighed, sitting back and rubbing his eyes. "Why did I take this job," he murmured, exasperated. "You took it because you wanted to save a boy." Laufey looked at him sternly, and Tony couldn't help another groan. "Don't look at me like that, I don't want to back out, I just… this is a lot to take in. Gimme a few minutes, and I'll go see him again. Is it still… the little guy?" At Laufey's nod, he sighed, grabbing a banana out of the basket. "Keep this here, and feed him when he needs it… maybe it will help." He went down the hall to Loki's room, ignoring the bright grin Laufey gave him, and knocked on the door. "Hey, Loki?"

Loki jerked awake from where he'd huddled in the corner of the room. He'd managed to get Laufey to move the table for him, and had curled up in the corner with the thin sheet, shaking as he slept. When he heard someone enter, he looked out curiously, jumping when he realized that it was the odd doctor from before. He remained where he was, refusing to get out.

"Hey, Loki…" he murmured, smiling gently and sitting on the floor across the room. "I came to talk to you. I'll stay here, okay? Laufey said you were scared, and I suppose I understand… It must be scary to meet someone new. But I won't hurt you. I brought more food. I'm going to make sure you're fed from now on, okay?" he smiled a bit wider as Loki's eyes widened. He had him. "I… I wanted to talk more about making colors. I thought if I taught you the names of the colors, you could tell me which are your favorites?"

Loki nodded, now curious, and slowly crawled out to see him better. "W-What… W-what colors… c-can I learn today?" he asked, his voice small. He wanted to know colors. He wanted colors. He didn't like white anymore… He never had. But this doctor seemed different. He looked kind… and younger. He didn't frown or glare at him, and Laufey trusted him enough to let him see Loki alone. So Loki had to trust Laufey. If his nurse liked him, then Loki would have to like him, too. He sat on the floor, long gangly legs set at odd angles as he looked the older man over, taking in his white coat and black shoes. He remembered black. He was allowed to wear black… And he liked that the doctor had black, too. "I thought I could show you a few colors from this," the doctor said, pulling out something flat and opening it. A book? He snuck closer to look in it and gasped. It was a book full of so many colors! So pretty, all the different shades and hues… he slowly reached out and grabbed it, pulling it to him to look over and thumb through, mouth open in awe.

Tony grinned, proud of his work. He'd grabbed one of every paint sample card at the hardware store and bound them together to teach him that though there were colors, there were all sorts of different shades, too. The delight he saw on the kid's face was well worth the effort. Strange, he thought, shrugging it off. He normally didn't give a shit whether people like what he gave or not. But for Loki… well, he never imagined he'd be able to see the kid smile. It was so… innocent. Pure. Everything he was sure was impossible for people older than seven. He helped Loki pronounce the basic names of every color there, explaining to him the purpose of colors, and how they drowned the world in light. He fed Loki, talked to him, smiled with him... at one point, Loki relaxed enough to even touch him before jerking back, ducking his head. He found himself feeling... /happy/ by the time he left that day, excited for his newest little present idea for Loki. Poor guy had panicked slightly when Tony had told him to keep the book, but when he had last seen him, the kid was curled tightly around it, snuffling quietly as he held the book to his chest in slumber.


	6. Mistakes are Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like the title says, mistakes are made. And of course, it's Tony who made them. What is going to be the fallout here? It's not like Tony called out the wrong name in bed...

Tony worked long hours from then on, showing up at eight and not leaving until Loki was too tired to stay awake. Slowly, the kid was coming out of his shell. He finally started calling Tony by his name, instead of "doctor"… and Tony couldn't help but grin. He was… for lack of a better word, adorable. He worked hard to remember the names of colors, tracing each one, and finally deciding that green and blue were the better ones, though he squeaked in awe the day Tony decided to bring small examples of gold and silver. "They're shiny! How'd you get the sun to stay in one place?" he exclaimed, looking at the gold wondrously.

That day had changed things. Leave it to Tony to fuck things up. He had sat on the bed, looking down at Loki, who was still working up the courage to get on the bed with Tony, and laughed, showing him pictures that he'd brought from magazines. "And this is Angelina Jolie… she's somewhat of a big celebrity," he said, pointing her out. Loki looked at her curiously, tracing the lines of her face. "What's wrong with him?" he asked, looking up at Tony. The doctor frowned for a moment. "You don't know… about girls?" "Girls? No… what are they?" Tony had been shocked, to say the least. He never thought he'd have to explain to a kid the difference between men and women. But when he'd finished, Loki looked satisfied. "So this is a woman?" "Well, not all women look like that. In fact, few are that damned thin. But she's considered beautiful." "Why? You used a bad word for her, like you don't like her," he said, looking up at him again.

Tony sighed, laying back on the bed to see Loki better, looking down at the boy who had decided it was safe enough to lean against the bed while talking to Tony. "Some women are thick, much bigger than that, but others look like her. What is considered beautiful by many is the skinny one, but it all depends on what you like. And personally, I don't like how skinny she is. It's unhealthy." Loki nodded, absorbing that before looking back at the picture. "She's almost as skinny as me…" he mumbled. "I wanna be fat." He looked up at him with a soft smile. "Like you!" Tony laughed, taken back by the frankness. He'd normally take offense, but he supposed Loki just meant healthy. After all, Tony was not overweight, and Loki had nothing but skin on his bones. "Well, maybe if we have enough food for you, you'll get fat, too," he said, ruffling Loki's hair affectionately.

Loki grinned, laughing slightly as he turned the page. The picture he focused on made his laughs go silent. Tony looked at the picture, noticing the celebrity's name and frowning. Why did Loki pause? "Wh-who is this?" Loki asked quietly, his hand shaking as he pushed the papers towards Tony. "It's Chris Hemsworth, why?" Tony said, taking the papers with a frown. "Don't you like him?" "N-No… N-Noooo," he moaned, shaking once again, despite Tony's coat around him. He scrambled away, hiding under the bed and curling up tight, dissolving into choked sobs and shrieks. Tony jumped up, running out to find Laufey. "What'd I do?" he asked, dragging the exhausted nurse back to Loki's room and showing him the scene. Laufey gasped, running to the bed and dragging Loki out, struggling with him, trying to calm him down.

Loki was hysterical, screeching in terror as he fought both Laufey and himself, scratching what he could as he was swallowed by fear. Laufey called out to him again and again, crying as he tried to keep Loki to his chest. "Loki, Loki, please! Please, it's not him! He didn't mean to let him in… he's not here!" Finally, Loki went limp in Laufey's arms, blood flowing steadily from his nose.

Tony had remained in a frozen horror as he watched the scene, not understanding what he'd done wrong. But when Loki fainted, he ran forward with a gasp, trying to stop the bleeding or talk to him… something. Laufey looked down at the small body, tears falling down his face as he tried to shake him awake. "Loki…" he whispered, a sob breaking free. It was cut short, however, by a sharp punch to his face, making him fall back with a short cry. Tony stumbled back, blinking slowly as he tried to comprehend what just happened. Red eyes blinked open as Loki sat up slowly, glaring at him. "Well, now… have fun?" He sneered, standing imperiously and shoving Laufey away from him.

Tony glared up at the devil, wishing he had the presence of mind to actually run the shit by Laufey first before showing it to the kid. "Get the fuck out of here. No one wants you here!" he yelled, standing up. Loki… no. The devil grinned, leaping on Tony and shoving him hard into the opposite wall. He hit with a grunt, his vision spotted black for a moment before he shoved him back, snarling. "No one wants you here! You're just making everything worse! Leave the kid alone!" "And why should I, /doctor/?" He hissed, glaring wickedly at him and grinning maniacally. "You think you're enough to save him? He's mine…" Tony thought frantically. "Give him to me, then. I'll be yours, just let him be mine!"

The devil laughed, a great belly laugh that chilled Tony's bones. "What, take your body instead? You're more worthless than he is! You're old, and weak… and that little problem of yours," He growled. Tony blinked. "How the fuck do you know so much about me! I didn't tell you shit, I never gave you anything! Neither did he! He's just a boy!" "Wrong. He /was/ just a boy, then he gave me his life." Gave him his… life? What, so a four year old kid could sacrifice himself… that didn't sit right with him. "How? How'd he give you anything? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you!" The devil snarled, hitting Tony hard, sending the doctor to his knees, coughing harshly as he tried to keep the blood down. "Why should I tell you? So you can try and find a way around it? You can't. It's foolproof."

Tony tried to say something, but a choked snarl stopped him. He looked up, confused, only to see Laufey wrestling with Loki's body, fighting off each punch valiantly. "Get out of here!" he growled, looking at Tony. Tony nodded and scrambled free of the white prison, stumbling down the crumbling hallway and into the abandoned courtyard, gasping for breath and clutching his chest. So he had a bad heart… so what? How'd the devil know that? That had never factored into anything important in Tony's life, at least, nothing he considered important. Sitting on the grass, he coughed up the blood that had spattered into his lungs, not wanting or needing to get up.

He had just… run away. Tony Stark had never run away from anything before. He had made sure of that. If anything beat him down, he just kept going until he beat /it/ down. But… this time, he had run. He had left Laufey alone with the devil, even after all the nurse had been through. Feeling sick, he struggled to stand, dizzy on his feet, and stumbled back up the stairs. He had to do something. But… that… /demon/ in Loki… it scared him. More than it should have. He'd met criminally insane patients before, he'd had to. He'd sat in on conversations and therapies with them, listened to their rantings and ravings. But this was different. It was completely different, and it honestly scared him. It wasn't human. Whatever it was… Tony had to start accepting that maybe there was more out there than just… humans. Maybe there was a devil. And if there was, Loki definitely had it.

Laufey came out nearly an hour later, stumbling halfway down the hall before falling on the floor, not even bothering to get up. Tony scrambled to him, still shaking nervously and clutching his chest. "L-Laufey?" The nurse didn't stir, completely unconscious. It took him most of the night to wake up again, and when he did, it was with a weak groan that Tony almost didn't hear. "Laufey! What…. I… I'm sorry."

There was nothing else he could say. He could see each deep cut in Laufey's back, each bruise on his body. He couldn't say anything. "I… I'm sorry, Laufey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I usually put notes first thing, this time, they're at the bottom because of spoilers for this chapter!
> 
> Tony learns to apologize! YAY! Again, everyone that has been keeping up with this, thank you so much, reviews are love, and I can't believe any review or PM that I get, because they're all fantastic! I just like getting feedback!
> 
> Feel like I should point out again. The point of this is more for you to guess what will happen. Why does Loki react the way he does at the thought of his older brother? Why is he possessed by the devil? Is it really the Devil as we know him, or perhaps something else? How does one get rid of him? What does white mean? Is there more to Laufey than said?
> 
> Shakespeare42 from FF, your reviews make my day (and sometimes my week), and I squee every time I see them.
> 
> Also, mental institutions are not properly exemplified by my work. This is more... an insane asylum from the 1950's, not today's world. There would be plenty of care and love for Loki, no matter how criminally insane he is. He'd get the proper medications, would have probably daily therapy sessions, and would be loved and cared for by more than just one nurse. DO NOT think that this is what loony bins are like, they're much nicer than I've made them here!


	7. Suiting up for Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of the fight, there is a choice. Does one start a war, or walk away? Well, Tony's never really been one for backing down on anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! I'm back! Well, sort of. Really having personal issues right now, so I've been struggling to write more than a sentence before hitting a wall of demotivation. But I managed this one! On AO3, h_lokidottir said that I wasn't kidding about the mindfuck. No, I wasn't. If you've gotten this far in the fic, you probably agree with him/her/zir/whatever pronoun I've forgotten. Enjoy Tony getting his shit together!

Tony sat there for a full ten minutes before steeling himself and standing. He wasn't going to take this laying down anymore. He couldn't. Tony Stark didn't work like that. He went down the hall and found the keys to the other rooms, finding the key to the bedroom next to Loki's and unlocking it. Propping the door open, he grabbed some extra blankets and made the bed. With that, he went to Laufey, struggling to pick him up without hurting him, and put him on the bed, grabbing some medical supplies and tending to him before standing in front of Loki's door. He had no idea what had happened in there. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. "Come on, Stark," he mumbled under his breath. "You got this." With that, he unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Loki's body was strewn out, his limbs twisted almost painfully on the floor. His black pajamas were shredded on his person, and his white skin was covered with dark bruises. Tony blanched as he took it all in, noting the heavy nosebleed and grabbing a shred of the pajamas to clean it off. He sighed, seeing the pieces of paper that used to be the magazines he brought, and looked back at Loki. "What happened to you," he whispered, bringing him up and cradling him gently in his arms, feeling the thin body shiver with his heat. "Fuck," he managed, looking away with a sigh. He wanted to cry, but… he didn't cry. He wouldn't. This kid had been through too much for him to be all sappy and shit for him. He had to fix him up instead. He carefully picked him up and carried him to Laufey's room, placing him on the bed next to the nurse. He carefully removed the ruined pajamas and covered them both in the blankets, grinning when the two of them gravitated towards each other, cuddling into each other's arms.

That done, Tony locked the door behind him and set about cleaning up the old room, sliding a note under their door before going off for some shopping. It was time to declare war on this bastard. He headed to a home improvement store, getting some lumber and screws, before heading off to get three new pairs of sheets, one black, one green, and one blue, all 600 thread count, and went off to get new pajamas for Loki.

When Tony got back to the hospital, he was fully armed. He walked into Loki's old room, prepping for Loki's return with a determined grin. "Not going to make me run again, you little fucker," he growled, putting up posters of scenic views, putting on the black sheets and adding a few more pillows, all with black pillowcases, before pulling out three very thick blankets. One was a deep purple, one was green, and the last black. He considered the three before deciding to start Loki on the purple, hoping it wouldn't be too much of a shock for him. His next thing was to grab the hammer, smashing out the glass in the window and cleaning it all up, looking out to the scenic little forest behind the hospital with a smile. It would be great, and Loki would heal. Tony refused to let anything else happen.

Having cleaned up the room and exposed it to color and life, he went to the other room, smiling sheepishly as Laufey looked up at him. "Hey there. See my note?" he asked, lugging in a cooler. The nurse nodded, looking at the cooler curiously. "What are you doing?" he asked softly. Tony sighed, sitting down on the cooler and looking at Loki, limp in Laufey's arms.

"Look... I... I'm rich. Alright? Dad's money, mostly, but it's mine. I did what I had to to get my job, not for the money itself, but to prove that I could actually /be/ something. So I might as well use it for something worthwhile, right? I got Loki some things, and I'm ready to declare war on that damned bastard inside him. I'm not going to let some half personality get to me. Not when the other half is relying on me. I've seen both sides, and I've seen what the bad guy can do to not only us, but to Loki. I'm not letting it happen again. I've got food here, and a shitload of medical supplies in your office. Done some work in his old room, and I even have some clothes for him, when he wakes. Do you think that might be enough for a first attack on the despot?"

The look in Laufey's eyes said more than words, and really made Tony nervous. The guy was nearly crying, and he seemed... well, like Tony had saved the world. It was most certainly a look he had never received before. "What?" he finally said, feeling a bit cornered. Laufey simply smiled. "Maybe you can save him," he said softly, laying back tiredly. "Thank you. You can save him... please..." Tony nodded, shifting uncomfortably as Laufey fell back asleep. What, so now he was some sort of hero? That... didn't sit right with him. And the sudden darkness out the window didn't make him feel any better. "You're not winning," he told the darkness. "I don't care what I have to do. You're not getting this kid."


	8. The Passage of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we're focusing on understanding some major things that will pop up again later. Well, they're major in the whole scheme, but you might think it minor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, darlings, I know this is incredibly short, but I needed to get a few more things out before Loki woke up again, and sort of cement Laufey and Tony's relationship into what it's going to be. Also because I felt horrible about not giving you as much as I should have when I disappeared.

It took a few days for Laufey to get up and walking once again. He helped Tony clean Loki up properly, using heated water from a water boiler he'd bought, and dressed Loki in thick pajamas. They were also black, but Tony helped Loki into green boxer briefs, an undershirt, the black pajamas, white socks, and a fuzzy pair of blue socks over them. He kept the kid bundled in his purple blanket, taking him back to his room and setting him on the bed, plugging in the heating blanket he'd slid under the sheets for Loki to lay on. Laufey kept thanking him, and eventually, Tony had to tell him to knock it off. He didn't like being looked at like he could do no wrong. And one thank you was enough. But that didn't stop him from taking care of the kid. He ran every single picture by Laufey, making sure they were safe, and he could continue to paste them all over the walls. When he was done, there'd be no more white for him. The broken window let in a lot of light, and made the blue sky visible, but he still had to find a way to cover it on colder days.

He spent most of his days in the room with Laufey, trying to figure out more about this devil. He wasn't exactly like the Christian devil. Laufey said he was bound by words, but that was what made him dangerous. He knew how to use someone's words against him, and to weave a web that no one could escape. So when Tony told Laufey about the possibility of the devil using Loki's words against him, his reaction was unexpected. "No, he couldn't have. The human has to call the devil to him, and an innocent four year old couldn't call the devil... let alone make a contract with him." "A contract? But... the devil said that Loki gave him his life. That's... that's got to be a contract! Is that what he meant?" Laufey froze, looking up at him. "Wait. What did he say? What words, exactly!" Tony frowned as he tried to remember. "He said that... Loki /was/ just a boy, and then he gave the devil his life. Do you think..." he blinked with the realization. "He came in here at the age of four, maybe... that was when his life was forfeit!"

Laufey looked at him in a mixture of shock, pain, and sadness. "So... he called the devil? How?" "We'd have to ask him," Tony said, shrugging with a sigh. "How long do you think it will be before he'll wake?" he asked nervously.

Laufey didn't know, and so he remained silent, leaving them both to wonder what to do with Loki. They spent the days trying to get the unconscious boy to sip on some water or cooled broth, keeping him bandaged, clean and warm, hoping that if he had the chance to heal, he would. Laufey told him stories every day, smiling as Tony kept bringing in things. Small stuffed animals, drawing supplies, clothes of all sorts, thick towels and sheets, all different colors. He wasn't backing down from this fight. And he knew it was coming.

It was another week before Loki woke again, coughing weakly as he finally opened his eyes.


	9. Fixing Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like the title says. Loki's been shattered, time to pick up the pieces and put him back together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aryun on AO3 said she/he/zir/whatever pronoun I forgot couldn't wait to see how Loki reacted to his new room. Well, darling, here you go! It's not just the room he reacts to, but... it's still a reaction.
> 
> I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long, but depression caught up with me, and I actually ended up going critical for a while, so I had to go get hospitalized once again. Safe to say, I survived this round, and have another set of medication to try. So far, it's working, but the school semester has only begun, and only time can tell if I'll manage to win the war. I hope to keep posting as much as I can, but I will admit, it's really hard. Depression is a bitch, darlings, don't ever take it lightly!

Tony didn’t remember how long he’d been preparing for battle. But he remembered the exact moment Laufey fetched him. “He’s waking!” were the only words he needed to hear before finding himself at Loki’s bedside, fighting with Laufey to be the first person Loki saw.  
Loki hurt. That’s all he knew... pain, again. Pain and darkness. And when he opened his eyes to escape the darkness... white did not greet him. His eyes opened wider in a panic, wondering what had happened to the white. Laufey and Tony were above him, looking down with happy smiles. Laufey was crying. He’d been hurt... He was bad. “I... I’m sorry,” he rasped out, his voice destroyed by screams and disuse.  
Tony smiled softly, gently brushing the hair from Loki’s face. “Hush, there’s no need to apologize. It was my fault,” he whispered, feeling his gut twist. It had been his fault, he knew that for sure. He just wasn’t used to guilt. “I should be sorry, kid,” he murmured. “And I am. I’m sorry. And I promise, I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe from now on,” he said, nodding with determination. Laufey leaned forward, holding a water bottle with a straw. “Here, Loki,” he said soothingly, urging him to drink from it.  
He... hadn’t been bad? And Tony said it was his fault? He didn’t understand, but Laufey was there, and Laufey was helping him drink... and it felt so good on his throat... He drank greedily, finally pulling away to pant, his body not used to consciousness. It wasn’t used to the heat, either.... “W-Why’m I warm?” he murmured, frowning as he tried to move.  
Tony reached out immediately to gently press at the boy’s shoulder. “Don’t move, we don’t know how you’re feeling yet. You’re warm because I’m keeping you warm. I brought you blankets, and pictures, and color, and soft cuddly things,” he murmured, biting the inside of his cheek. What if Loki didn’t like it? “I brought you food, and clothes, and medicine to keep you safe and warm, and healthy...”  
Loki couldn’t remember ever feeling as happy as he was. He felt hot liquid drip from his face, and he looked at Laufey with worry. He’d never cried /warm/ tears before. They were always cold enough to freeze, scaring and hurting him more. Now his body jerked with soft sobs as he gripped the warm hand in his own, looking up at Tony. He didn’t know what to say, but it looked like the doctor understood. He cried for a long time before laying, empty, drained, and exhausted in his warm covers, covered with color, heat, and love. It was a feeling he’d never felt before, and he looked at Laufey for a while before smiling. “T-Thank you. Thank.... you b-both...”  
As Loki fell back asleep, Tony stood quickly, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes. He was /not/ crying, and he had felt nothing when he had to sit there and watch Loki cry because he couldn’t handle the concept that someone might actually want to help him. He wiped his eyes quickly, damning his eyelashes. They irritated his eyes at the worst times. Laufey seemed to understand that, because the nurse knew enough not to ask. Tony went off to make sure they had everything set up, and took silent watch over Loki, knowing that this started yet another period of healing for Loki’s poor, beaten body.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
For two weeks, Tony and Laufey both cared for Loki, helping him to eat and drink whatever he could manage every time he woke up, cleaning his wounds daily, changing his clothes to prevent infection, and keeping him warm. Slowly, his strength returned. Now he could sit up in his bed, and stay up for a full eight hours. Though he never tried to walk. “Laufey?” Tony asked one day, while Loki was sleeping. “Why isn’t he walking?”  
“He can’t.” Laufey sighed, sitting back in his chair and sipping at his hot chocolate. “He knew how, once, but it’s just another thing the Devil took from him. And another thing he’s not strong enough to do. I don’t think his muscles could handle the difficulty. I’ve tried, but... as you’ve probably noticed, he can only crawl, and even then, he has to rest for a while.”  
Tony hated this. It seemed no matter what he did, there was something else to fix. Nearly fourteen years of suffering. Of course, Tony didn’t remind himself of that, only that he should be able to fix everything within a month’s time. Such mental standards usually disappointed him, and this time was no different. He sighed, rubbing his face wearily and looking at Loki. “He can’t walk, he doesn’t know half of what the world’s like, can barely eat on his own...” For a moment he wondered why he decided to raise what was essentially a baby on his own, but... then he remembered. That damned devil. The one he was determined to fuck with as much as possible. The one he was determined to beat. He glared, tensing in his seat. “I don’t care. I’ll fix him. I’ll keep him safe,” he grumbled again, drinking his own hot chocolate. It didn’t matter if no one out there was listening. As long as he said it, he’d make sure that the devil would hear eventually.  
When Loki woke up again, he looked immediately for Tony, relaxing when he felt the warm hand in his own slowly warming flesh. He smiled up at the doctor, grateful and secure. “Morning, Tony,” he whispered, giggling as Laufey pouted theatrically, going to help him sit up. “And morning, Laufey,” he teased, nuzzling into Laufey’s arm. He felt better every day, and the warm clothes on his skin were so soft, he never had to worry about hurting his cuts or sores.  
“Hey there, kid,” Tony said, smiling as he ruffled Loki’s hair, enjoying the giggle. “You hungry? We’ve got some hot chocolate for you, and I can make some cream of wheat real quick...” He found he liked cooking for Loki, since everything was simple and hot. It was easy to boil something or cook it in a microwave, and the look on Loki’s face when he added in extra sugar made it far too easy to spoil the boy.  
Loki smiled up at him, nodding and watching him run off with a small giggle. He sighed, cuddling into Laufey’s hold. “Did you sleep well?” he murmured. Laufey held him tighter and smiled, nodding. “I always do when you’re safe and happy, little child,” he murmured, cuddling him. “Do you feel like you can sit at the table today?” he asked, helping Loki bundle up in an extra pair of socks and pants. Loki eagerly scrambled to drag on his favorite fluffy green sweater, smiling at him and crawling back into his arms, waiting for Laufey to take him to the small table and sit him down.  
Laufey looked ecstatic that Loki could sit on his own on the chair, not panicking or needing to be held. Loki smiled at him, waiting happily for Tony to come back.  
When Tony returned, he was shocked to see Loki sitting at the table. He couldn’t help a big grin, handing him the bowl and the spoon, sitting across from him. “Well, look who’s running about,” he teased softly, smiling at him as he dragged a bag to his side. “Are you ready to learn something new today?” he asked, smiling at him softly.  
Loki was already jamming his face full of the sweet concoction he loved, grinning up at him through the cream of wheat on his face. He loved learning new things. Tony had already told him stories of every picture on the walls, and of every color possible, and he wanted to learn more.  
“Have you ever tried to draw?”


	10. Adding Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's up to Tony to make the battle come to him. He asked about drawing... will Loki like it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter so soon! I'm doing a bit better, and wanted to try and start the whole idea of white versus colors now, because it will be a recurring theme! tsubiichuu on AO3 reviewed with some really kind words about my own struggles, so thank you so much for that, it really made my day. Also on AO3, Blackbird_y guessed it right, some really nice chapters before hell breaks loose, but... I'm not telling you when it goes to hell! Mwahahah. She/he/zir/whatever pronoun I forgot also asked how I picture Laufey as a human, which I completely blanked out on including, so guess who gets to find a way to write in his description! Sorry if anyone else was wondering what he looks like, I really completely forgot about him.

Loki paused, peering up at him and squirming a bit as he shook his head. “No, what’s… draw?” he asked, swallowing the rest of the food in his mouth before inexpertly scooping up more, watching him curiously. He wondered what draw was, but he trusted Tony enough to try it, even without knowing what it was. It wasn’t hurt, so it was okay.  
Tony grinned, getting up and heading to a little box he’d brought in, opening it and pulling out a blank book and the color pencils he’d bought, bringing them over. “This is your very own book,” he murmured softly, opening it to show the white pages. “See all this white? You can cover it with your very own colors,” he said, holding out all the pencils. “Each one’s a different color, and you can draw anything. See?” he said, picking up a green one and drawing a leaf. “This is a leaf. From the trees outside.”  
Loki looked at the white book warily, frowning when there was no color or pretty pictures. But when Tony showed him all the pencils, he was in awe. All the colors he’d come to love were right there, and when Tony began to show how when he dragged the stick across the white, color came out, Loki squealed. Eagerly, he grabbed a different green and began to draw in leaves all over the page, different shapes and sizes, all of them veined realistically and frighteningly accurate. Laufey watched him in shock as Loki eagerly drew until the whole page was colored with layered leaves, all in varying degrees of green.  
Tony watched curiously as Loki began to draw, but slowly, his curiosity turned to shock. The kid was a natural. He was already talented to the point that… well, it looked like a fucking picture. “Wow, Lokes,” he breathed, looking at the details. “You’re amazing!”  
Loki grinned, looking up at Tony, who’d moved to look over his shoulder. “It’s what you wanted?” he asked. Laufey chuckled, shaking his head. “You can draw whatever you want, Loki,” he said. Loki perked up at that, turning to the next page and happily beginning to outline Laufey’s face. He liked Laufey, and he liked Tony, so he’d draw them. He’d make it all pretty and colorful, and try to use as much Laufey and Tony color as possible.  
Eventually, Tony moved away to clean up the abandoned food, making Loki some more hot chocolate and leaving it for him as Loki eagerly drew something else. He wanted to wait to see the product this time, and found it a rather fun thing, to guess what Loki could be drawing. He sat across from him at the table, watching the boy’s face as he drew. It was a fascinating mixture of concentration and happiness, his eyes sparkling with absolute joy as white became color on the pages. Tony began to wonder as he watched, what it was with the white that Loki hated and the devil loved. “Loki?” he asked quietly. “What is white to you? Why don’t you like it?”  
Loki looked up at him in surprise, having forgotten they were there, and looked at his page. “The… other doctors said I was bad…. that my head wasn’ right, like it was empty. Someone said I’d never leave here, ‘cause I’m just like the walls. I’m white,” he said, shrugging.  
Tony frowned, thinking. “You’re white, like the walls? Because you’re… insane? Did he say that word?”  
“Yeah, that one! He said that I was that word, an’ that my head was wrong…”  
So that was it then. White was insanity. What was it that the devil had said? Curious and frowning, Tony got up and paced in the room, thinking. Not all who wander are lost… and then something about white. White… white… erased! Not all who wander are lost, and not all who are erased are white. Not all who are erased are insane? Was the devil Loki trying to say he wasn’t insane? “Loki, another question. What’s erased mean to you?” he asked.  
Loki peeked up at him from under his long hair for a moment before going back to drawing, looking a bit more sullen. “Erased is… not being real. I’m not real, so I’m erased.” Laufey, who had gone to fetch some food for Loki, since he hadn’t eaten enough, came back in and frowned at what he was hearing. “Erased? Is that what you want to know, Tony?”  
“Yeah, something the other guy said, I just think… there’s something else. I just… want to know, you know?” Tony felt stupid, not being able to figure it out. But when Laufey handed Loki soup, telling him he could finish drawing when he drank it all, and lead Tony outside, he hoped he wasn’t in trouble.  
Laufey brought him into the hall, making sure the door was closed and locked before turning to him. “Erased… to him, it means that he doesn’t exist anymore. Nobody outside knows about him. No one cares who he is, nor is there any paperwork on him now. He was left for dead years ago, but it goes deeper than that. No one really cares about insane patients. I’ve seen it for years. Families drop off their own blood and leave them for dead. That’s what erased is to him. And to me. We’re all erased here, except for you.”  
Tony listened, feeling a bit of guilt twist in his stomach. That had happened to his mother. She had to go in for a few months, and his father never talked about her. It was like she stopped existing. Tony had almost forgotten about her by the time she came back. Though he was just a kid, it still hit home. “Right. Erased. The devil guy told me, ‘Not all who wander are lost, and not all who are erased are white.’ I think he’s saying that Loki was wrongfully brought here?” Tony said, rubbing his forehead as he thought it through. It made sense, he supposed. Erased, getting stuck in the asylum, and white, insane. He wasn’t insane, then? That only left the impossible, that it really was the devil. Could it be? Or did he mean /Loki/ wasn’t insane? Tony sighed and shook his head, looking up at Laufey.  
Laufey thought it through, and immediately understood, but didn’t say anything, sure that the devil would punish him if he said anything. Quietly, he returned to Loki, letting Tony trail behind.  
Loki sat happily at the table, grinning at the two and showing them his next masterpiece. Laufey was there, with blue and green behind him, but he was different. He was less tired, less pale. He looked healthy and happy, and had big colorful wings behind him. “Laufey’s my angel!” Loki declared.  
Laufey laughed, taking in the sight with wide eyes and grinning. “Thank you, Loki,” he said softly, hugging him close. Tony curiously looked over the picture, looking back up at Laufey. “Could be a picture. If you weren’t so tired looking, I mean,” he said, wondering how Loki, a young man with the mind of a child, was able to capture things so precisely on paper. “Of course, because Loki is a fantastic little boy,” the nurse soothed, chuckling quietly.  
Loki immediately cuddled into his nurse’s hold, smiling a bit and holding out his soup bowl. “Can I have more, now?” he asked, smiling up at him and Tony. He liked drawing, but it was tiring, and now he was hungry again.  
Tony nodded, hurriedly going to refill the soup for him and coming back to take a second look at the Laufey angel. It was rather good, and he found he liked it. “Think you could draw one of me tomorrow?” he asked Loki, sitting at his place again as he looked at the paper. Loki could be a real artist, and even get paid for most of this…  
Loki giggled, nodding as he took the soup and began to eat. “Yeah! I’ll draw Tony, too! An’ I’ll draw Laufey an’ Tony together! I like draw!” he said, grinning up at him. He found it relaxing, and helpful. His head didn’t hurt as much when he drew. He wasn’t scared while he was changing white to color. He spent the evening doodling quietly and cuddling against Laufey until he fell asleep. Tony watched his doodles becoming more and more abstract, and was prepared for when Loki did fall asleep. He hurriedly helped Laufey take him to bed, wrapping him up in the blankets again and brushing the kid’s hair back gently, smiling as he went about cleaning up again. An amazingly good day today, he noted. Maybe tomorrow they could try walking.


	11. Healing Wounds and Learning to Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning how to walk can be difficult for any child. Learning how to walk when you're little more than a skeleton can cause bruises with every fall. Also, I didn't really want to describe the pain it put Loki in, having to stretch out muscles that just don't stretch as far as they should anymore, so I just had Tony gloss over it. Also because Tony's turning into a big sap and actually enjoys Loki's presence and can't handle remembering how much Loki hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, really short chapter, another filler. Finally, in the next chapter, we'll learn how Laufey got sucked into this! Remember the story of Natasha and Fury, and how the Devil treated them, it might help with a little of the foreshadowing. I've already started the next chapter, I promise, I just wanted to let you see a bit more of the perspectives. Also... Loki actually gave something up in his one little paragraph. Uh... well, two things. One about what his life was like as a child, and another... you can find. Hope this will help soothe those who I seem to have forgotten about, I assure you I haven't!

Loki was healing fast, now that he had something to focus on. Tony began to sleep in one of the extra rooms, not wanting to go home and miss any of Loki’s conscious moments. After all, who knew when the other Loki would come back? When he did, Tony would probably end up in the hospital, so there was really no point in going home.

The walking, however, was slow going. It took a lot of energy for Loki to actually pull his body up into a crawling position and move it forward. Walking was even worse, even though Laufey or Tony would be there to support the rest of his weight, his legs were so used to being curled under his body that to get them to stretch out… Tony didn’t like it. And he was getting a bit frustrated. Not with Loki, no, never! He was just frustrated that everything was getting so… quiet and happy. He didn’t /want/ it to be… evil, but he hated just sitting around waiting for the other Loki to come back. It was nerve wracking, and sitting around letting this new little Loki learn how to live again wasn’t helping. Much. There were times when he forgot about the future. Like the first time Loki drew Tony. He drew him hair by hair, filling it up with browns and yellows, giving him so much more depth than a photograph could. Tony was floored just by that, but then Loki drew him with a red and gold suit of armor on. Something Loki could not have ever seen before, certainly, and yet he drew it. Tony had been quiet for almost an hour just looking at the odd suit and how much he liked it.

Loki was enjoying the best time of his life, if he were to be honest. The time before white was painful and scary, and Loki cried almost every night. And in the white, he didn’t know what was going on, he was always cold, and his belly hurt all the time. But when Tony came, he didn’t hurt as much anymore. Even Laufey looked alive. He started to sleep with Loki again, and Loki had missed that. His head didn’t hurt as much, and he was so warm. Tony made sure he ate as much as he possibly could, and his belly had swelled up a bit, making him look a little more human. He loved it, he felt so fat!


	12. Laufey's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Laufey's story is to be told. Bits and pieces of Tony and Loki's life have been explained, but Laufey has remained a mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyoo! I'm really proud of this one, actually, I spent a lot of time on Laufey, trying to make his story as... well, as true to his experiences as possible. There's a possibility that I still forgot something, but I'm sure you'll point it out, as usual!

Tony walked into the room, smiling at the two curled up on the bed. Laufey had begun to look just a little more human, and it made Tony feel a bit better. At least he could help both of them. Though he still didn’t know the link between the two. The thought popped into his head out of the blue, and he resolved to find out.  
Laufey woke up when Tony walked in and silently twisted out of Loki’s grip, getting up and going with Tony to help make breakfast for them. “You look like something’s on your mind,” the nurse said, stretching out a bit.  
“Yeah, I… I suppose so. I just… I’m curious. Maybe it’s not my business, but you’re not just a nurse to him. And you said the past doctors were not good to him… so why are you the good guy here?” Tony asked. He hadn’t meant to sound abrasive, but he wanted to know.  
Laufey blinked, not having expected Tony’s curiosity to be turned on him, and leaned back. “Well…” he sighed. “What, you want my story?”  
“Well, yeah, sure, why not? Loki won’t wake for a while.”  
Laufey stretched out, sighing softly as he thought. “Alright then…”  
The nurse looked up at the doctor, preparing his beginning. He was a tall man, taller than Tony, but far too thin. His skin, which he remembered as tan, was now deathly white, almost blue, and his eyes, usually bloodshot, were once green, just like Loki’s, looked less green and more red now. He looked dead, blending in with the white walls, his simple nurses uniform of white drawstring pants and a pullover shirt thin and hanging on his thin frame. He didn’t like the way he looked now, he wished he looked like how he had all those years before. Dark brown hair… tanned skin, green eyes. He’d been well sought after just for that, but then he’d entered nursing school… Laufey smiled lightly at the memories.  
“I… I was young. Foolish. I’d just graduated, gone through my training, and had been working for about a year. I had a new wife, and a small child, and everything seemed… just right. I was able to actually get a job here, which at the time was huge news. And then I began hearing horror stories. Some little kid had been brought in for attempted murder, and was strong enough to require two nurses to subdue him. I wondered what hell the kid had been through, and for a while, I refused to work on the floor. I didn’t want to come home with horror stories about children, I already had my own child. But eventually, more and more people refused to work on the floor, and they began to move patients off the floor, so they could still receive treatment. My curiosity got the better of me.”  
“I met Loki when he was six. He’d already gone through ten different doctors, and no nurses would work with him anymore. We were offered a bonus, and… well, I needed all the money I could get for my son. So I signed up for the horror story, and went to the abandoned floor. This floor, actually,” he murmured, looking around at the memory.  
“I met the devil first, just as you did. He laughed at me, told me to go home to my wife and child. He knew things of me that no child would know, and that no patient did know. I… I was curious. So I listened to him, waited for my chance. I didn’t force him, I guided him to things, I asked him to eat, I begged him to sleep, I never forced him. I guess he started to… take a shine to me, because slowly he began to accept it. Doctor after doctor would come, and they’d try to force him, and I’d tell them that wasn’t how to do it, and they’d be thrown across the room. But every so often, Loki would come back, and he’d be the sweetest little boy, still scared of his own shadow. It took a lot longer to get him to trust me, but I managed, stealing whatever little sweets and food I could from the cafeteria to give to him.”  
“He was always cold, so I did what I could to get extra sheets, even taking some from the extra rooms no one would use. It was difficult, since whenever the devil came back, he’d shred them, but I tried. And Loki saw that.”  
“But like I said, I was a fool. After Fury… I lashed out at the devil, yelling at him for doing such a thing, saying it was wrong, and he shouldn’t have done it. I went so far as to grab his arm. I didn’t… well, I didn’t think I hurt him, but… maybe I held his arm tighter than I should have. He glared at me, I remember… he was angry, and he promised that I would learn. He never said what I’d learn. But I learned.”  
Tony listened, having already decided that Laufey probably was the only guy who was nice to Loki, was glad his assumptions were correct. He wondered idly why no one would help Laufey if he was the only staff member that could get along with the “horror story”, but let it go. But when the story began to turn sour, Tony sat forward eagerly. Perhaps not happily, but more in an anxious need to learn as much as he could about that damned devil before waging war on it. Laufey seemed to notice, for he smiled weakly and sat upright, preparing the worst part with little more than pure dread.  
“I learned… I still remember that day. Loki was barely ten, when it happened. I left that morning, kissing my wife and hugging my son before going to find Fury. I came home to something much different. I…” he sighed shakily, forcing himself to push through. “I thought there was an intruder in the house. I walked in… there was blood… I jus’...” he paused, struggling to continue.  
“Hey… you don’t… you don’t have to tell me,” Tony said hurriedly. He didn’t want to make the guy cry.  
“No, I… I should… I should tell someone. I… it was an intruder. I thought it was an intruder. It… it was the devil. He’d… I don’t know how. But he found his way, he knew where I lived… he killed them. He murdered my family. They… there was blood everywhere, he… he marked the walls… words… it was like a horror movie. Listen, see, obey…. Obey. I hated that word. I… I found them… a-and him. He was… standing over them,” he whispered, shaking. “He… It was the devil. I know it… he w-was horrid.”  
Tony listened in growing horror, his heart pounding in terror as he listened to the story. “H-how…” he coughed, realizing he was trembling. That thing inside Loki had managed to escape and kill people… it wasn’t just… killing a guy who was in the room, it was going out, breaking free of a… basically a prison, and murdering a woman and a child. That was a lot more terrifying than threats. He’d actually done it. “Laufey… I…” He didn’t know what to say. No wonder the guy looked so horrible all the time, he had the weight of that on him.  
“That’s… not all,” Laufey murmured, looking down at his hands. “I… even then, I didn’t learn. I fought back. I tried to hit him, to hurt him like he had hurt me.” He sighed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “So… he hurt me.” With that, he leaned back, lifting up his shirt.  
His torso was littered with the scars of hard work, his muscles thin, but strong. The middle of his chest, however, was a mess. Perfectly centered, horribly drawn, white scarring stretched across his skin in a twisted web, spelling out “Obey.” It had healed, but from the way the scarring was, it was obvious that lots of blood had been lost, and that Laufey had suffered.  
Tony gasped, feeling his adrenaline spike as he thought of how to possibly escape the terror he was seeing now. The Devil had done that… the Devil. The Devil was real, to be able to do such a thing to Laufey, to hurt Loki like he had been. It was horrible and nerve wracking. Quickly he looked away, fidgeting. “Jesus, man… I… I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he said, rubbing his face and sighing. “Damn, I’m so sorry,” he murmured.  
Laufey chuckled weakly, pulling his shirt back down. “I learned. I only hope it won’t take the same effect on you,” he said softly, looking up at him. “The Devil has no problem with killing. He has no problem with killing without reason. I don’t want him to do the same to you.”  
“Well, you’ve got nothing to fear, Laufey,” he said, steeling himself as he forced himself to stand up and calm down. “I don’t have a family to go home to.”


End file.
